Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
