you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
