well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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