bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
