he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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