What a fucking waste of an outfit
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
cat food counts as protein by the way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
