Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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