Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
