Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize