Having a random hookup so left but love u
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
