The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
