***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
