I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
