Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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