On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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