If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
