Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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