Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
