I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize