its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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