it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
