Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.