i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
