Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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