Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
