My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
