He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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