i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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