shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
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other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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