Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
