before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude i'm inner monologue high
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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