I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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