So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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