there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
