Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize