I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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