feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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