I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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