It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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