thus making me awesome and them whores
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
