loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
