Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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