There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
