Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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