My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
