maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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