She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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