so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
