So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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