I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
