is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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