After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
50% drunk capacity currently
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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