ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You can't motorboat a personality
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
