I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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