whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
