His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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