Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
