There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
