i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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