forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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