Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
